Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Country ball


Yep, this picture is for real! Soak it in! Look at it again! Notice the sultry look of one lady and the sexy shoulders of the other one. It's quite obvious what the authors of this calendar were thinking - sex sells - so why not combine womanly beauty with that of a bovine variety? And the result is this! I know that as a woman I am not the targeted audience but I have to admit I am a willing recipient. Because every time I see this picture it makes me seriously LOL! (And we know how important laughter is - it makes your skin better, your life longer etc. And this calendar is a seriously great way how to prolong my life - it's effing hilarious! What - a - gem!) And I know that I am going to enjoy this picture and several other very similar ones this whole year - cause this, ladies and gentlemen, is a fantastic calendar we won - at a local Country Ball! (We actually won a yearly subscription of Vinotéka magazine - this was only a gift, I guess - but it pales in comparison to this calendar.)

We all know Murphy's Laws so what happens when you have a full closet of gorgeous dresses (here)? Well, the answer is obvious - you'll go to a country ball where you get to wear - you guessed it - your gorgeous jeans and shirt. Damn! Just my luck! But on the bright side - it was enormously comfy! (And of course, the whole evening was great fun - well, it was with a bunch of great people - so it was expected! )

SK: Áno, nerobím si prdel, ten obrázok, čo vidíte je naozajstný. Videli ste už niekedy niečo také úžasné? Ak nie, poriadne si to vychutnajte. Všimnite si zvodný pohľad jednej slečny a sexy ramená tej druhej. Je očividné, aký cieľ mali tvorcovia tohto kalendáru - sex jednoducho predáva - tak prečo by sme neskombinovali ženskú krásu s tou kravskou? A výsledkom je toto! Uvedomujem si, že ako žena nie som cieľovou skupinou, ale musím sa priznať, že som vďačným recipientom. Pretože zakaždým, keď sa naň pozriem, tak sa musím seriózne zasmiať. (A všetci predsa vieme, aký je smiech dôležitý - zlepšuje pleť, predlžuje život atď. A tento kalendár je fantastický spôsob ako si predĺžiť život - podľa mňa je totižto neuveriteľne popi*i! Čistý skvost!) A tento obrázok a ďalšie podobné si budem vychutnávať po celý rok - pretože, dámy a páni, tento fantastický kalendár sme vyhrali v tombole na Country bále! (V skutočnosti sme vyhrali ročné predplatné časopisu Vinotéka - toto bol asi len darček navyše - ale predplatné na tento kalendár nemá!)
Všetci poznáme Murphyho zákony, takže čo sa stane, ak máte k dispozícii celý šatník krásnych šiat (tu). Odpoveď musí byť každému zrejmá - idete na country bál, kde máte príležitosť si obliecť - áno, uhádli ste - svoje nádherné - rifle a košeľu. Do prčíc! Ale na druhej strane - bolo to nenormálne pohodlné. (A samozrejme, celý večer bola strašná sranda - ale veď to bolo s partiou super ľudí - takže sa to dalo očakávať!)


Armed and dangerous...but wait...I'm missing something...
A drink! 

Now it's perfect








Monday, March 3, 2014

My New Personal Trainer


After my last experience with running - remember I got "exercise induced anaphylactic shock" - I haven't done any real running at all. (I still chuckle about that one - I mean how stupid it sounds to get allergy from EXERCISING?!?! If I were a liiiiitle bit more lazy I would seize it as a best excuse not to exercise ever! I mean - I have a real legit paper from the doctors. Alas I am not that lazy. Sad face.) But March - accountants' everywhere nightmare is coming and I have to do SOMETHING else besides work otherwise I would go crazy. And our puppy, or as I like to call him a little calf - 'cause that puppy ain't small at aaal -(read in real American southerner accent - I've been watching Hart of Dixie A LOT lately, sorry) is getting through puberty and needs an outlet. So I seized him as a best excuse to exercise again and made Denny my new personal trainer. And boy oh boy, is he excited when he sees me coming. We run every other day and usually end up at the local Romanesque church from 11th century colloquially called Kostolík (Little Church). And the scenery is breathtaking (well, as is running). And all of a sudden I have no problem to run uphill (and I swear one day I will lose my teeth trying to follow Denny when he runs downhill, but even dentist have to earn their living somehow ;)). And I think that apart from best running legs I will acquire amazing biceps (here comes the part about being a little calf - the boy has a strength - but looks like I am still stronger AND more stubborn - and getting stronger with every run!)

SK: Po mojom poslednom zážitku s behaním - ako som dostala "cvičením spôsobený anafylaktický šok" - som v podstate vôbec nebehávala. (Keď si na to spomeniem vždy sa musím dobre zasmiať - vážne, dostať alergiu z cvičenia? Keby som bola len o trooooošku viacej lenivá, tak by som sa toho chytila ako najlepšej výhovorky prečo viac necvičiť! Ešte aj papier od doktora mám na to. Bohužiaľ AŽ taká lenivá nie som :( (I keď v posledné dni mám pocit, že na úrovni mojej lenivosti poriadne pracujem!). Keďže prišiel marec, t.j. nočná mora všetkých účtovníčok, rozhodla som, že okrem práce musím navyše robiť niečo iné, ináč sa zbláznim. A naše šteniatko, alebo ako ho ja rada volám - malé teliatko - si prechádza pubertou a vážne sa potrebuje nejako zbaviť zvyšnej energie. Tak som sa rozhodla, že ho použijem ako najlepšiu výhovorku, prečo znovu začať cvičiť a urobila som z Dennyho svojho osobného trénera. A to vôbec nepreháňam, keď poviem ako neuveriteľne sa na naše behávanie teší. Behávame takmer každý druhý deň a väčšinou skončíme pri Kostolíku. Ten výhľad mi vždy zoberie dych (tak trochu ako to behanie). Vybehnúť hore ku Kostolíku zrazu nie je problém (malé teliatko ťahá dobre aj do kopca ;) a prisahám, že jedného dňa si tak vyrazím zuby, keď sa snažím stíhať za Dennym ako beží dole kopcom, ale zase aj zubári musia z niečoho žiť ;) A okrem najkrajsích nôh z behu budem mať fantastické bicepsy (tu je ten dôvod, prečo ho volám malé teliatko - chlapec má riadnu silu - ale zatiaľ to vyzerá tak že som silnejšia A tvrdohlavejšia).












Sunday, February 23, 2014

Nonsteak Beef á la Steak / Ako pripraviť hovädzie nevhodné na steaky ako steak

It's Sunday 5pm and I've just finished my work - physically (my back hurts like craaazy) and emotionally drained. The last time I was describing my work it went something like this - imagine a huge slave ship, in the lower deck there are rows of seats and on these seats sit slaves in chains that are rowing these huge oars. It`s a slave ship so conditions are naturally atrocious - they get little water and little food in the scorching heat, they have to work impossible hours and there is an enormous guard who whips them when he feels they're slacking. AND if that's not horrible, there is a perfect storm coming. You get the picture. I've been doing this work for the last eight years and many times I felt like those slaves: working 10 hours a day including Saturday and Sunday every February and March (impossible working hours), having to lower my prices because of crisis and subsequent recession and unable to employ anyone because of it (little water and little food), adjusting to all the new and frequent amendments to laws AND my government`s love to issue fines for every little thing (a guard with the whip). AND now a real perfect storm came - something they call "checking statement". I hate the person who thought this up with a passion. Maybe even more than our neighbour`s dog. And I can`t wait till April when I am going to grow our second business!
Yes, I might be a little bit overly melodramatic for an accountant. But let's face it - I am not the only one:



And now my rant is over and let`s move on to beautiful and amazing things in life. Like for example MEAT. :) Yummy! What I really love about paleo diet besides my gorgeous skin and skinny (skinnier) body is the fact that I can eat meat. And I love meat! I thrive on meat! I could eat meat every day...wait.... I actually do. Hm. What I meant was I could eat Argentinian or Kobe beef steak every day! But that is not going to happen maybe because I don't have super rich parents or maybe because I don't earn big bucks or maybe because I actually don't know how to prepare delicious steak like they do in the restaurants. You choose the reason why.

But fortunately for me I have this amazing man who likes to take online courses like this: Science & Cooking: From Haute Cuisine to Soft Matter Science. Yep, science AND cooking. And I watched this 20 minutes video (I could swear it was one hour that pissed bored ecstatic I was that I was forced to had an opportunity to watch it) on How to prepare a non-steak beef cut like round or chuck in a steak-like version. (I am warning you - it takes lots of time!)

You will need:
1 cut of tougher beef meat e.g. round or chuck
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

Season your beef with two to four teaspoons of salt (it depends on how big your cut is - I used two tsp), cover with foil and leave in the fridge for 18 to 24 hours.

Heat your oven to 107°C. (Yep, you read correctly ONLY 107!)
Take your beef out of the fridge, rub olive oil all over it (obviously it improves the transfer of heat) and rub in the pepper.


Heat oil in the pan till it smokes, sear the meat from all sides till it's nice and brown.



Put into the oven for 1 hour to 1 3/4 hours (it all depends on the size of the meat, I cooked mine for 1 hour only). Then turn off the oven and leave the meat there for 30 to 50 minutes (again, it depends on the size of the meat).


Then take it out of the oven and leave it outside for 15 minutes (I warned you that it takes time :) But obviously, according to science-y people, it yields the best results. And who doesn't believe people in white coats?!) Finally, serve! Yummy, yummy for my tummy!




His version:


Her version:



SK:
Je nedeľa, päť hodín večer a práve som skončila s robotou - fyzicky (chrbát ma bolí ako koňa) a emočne vyšťavená. Naposledy keď som niekomu cudziemu opisovala svoju prácu znelo to asi takto - predstavte si veľkú otrokársku loď, v podpalubí ktorej sú rady sedadiel, na ktorých sedia otroci v okovách, ktorí veslujú obrovské veslá. Keďže je to otrokárska loď podmienky sú horibilné - dostávajú malý prídel vody a jedla v neznesiteľných horúčavách, musia pracovať neuveriteľne dlhé šichty a navyše je tam mohutný strážca, ktorý ich bičuje, zakaždým ak má pocit, že sa flákajú. A ak by to nestačilo prichádza dokonalá búrka. Viete si to predstaviť? Túto prácu robím už posledných osem rokov a častokrát sa cítim ako tí otroci: pracujem desať hodín denne vrátane soboty a nedele každý február a marec (to sú tie dlhé šichty), musím znižovať ceny kvôli kríze a nasledujúcej recesii a nemôžem si dovoliť nikoho zamestnať (malý prídel vody a jedla), naša vláda neustále mení zákony A najviac miluje, keď môže pokutovať za úplne maličkosti (to je ten mohutný strážca s bičom). A TERAZ prišla tá dokonalá búrka - niečo čo si nazvali "kontrolný výkaz". Osobu, čo to vymyslela z duše neznášam. Možno ešte viac ako susedovie psa. A neviem sa dočkať, kedy príde apríl a konečne rozbehnem náš druhý biznis!
Áno, priznám si to, možno som až prespríliš dramatická na účtovníčku, ale nie som jediná! (ako Leo Bloom z The Producers!)

A teraz, keď už som sa ukľudnila, môžeme prejsť na krásne a fantastické veci v tomto živote. Ako napríklad mäsko. :) Mňam. Čo najviac milujem na paleo diéte okrem mojej krásnej pleti a štíhleho (štíhlejšieho) tela je fakt, že môžem jesť mäso! Zbožňujem mäso. Dokázala by som jesť mäso každý deň...počkať...veď ja ho jem. Hm. Čo chcem povedať, že by som dokázala jesť argentínske alebo Kobe steaky každý deň! Ale to sa bohužiaľ nestane možno preto, že nemám super bohatých rodičov alebo možno preto, že nezarábam veľké prachy alebo možno preto, že ja vlastne neviem ako pripraviť chutný steak tak ako ho robia v reštauráciách. Vy si môžete tipnúť dôvod prečo to tak je.

Ale našťastie pre mňa mám úžasného muža, ktorý sa rád vzdeláva a naposledy si urobil takýto online kurz: Veda a Varenie. Áno, čítate dobre, veda A varenie. A ja som si pozrela jedno 20-minutové videjko (prisahala by som, že trvalo hodinu tak nasrdená znudená nadšená som bola, že som musela mala šancu pozrieť si ho) ako pripraviť mäso nesteakovej kvality ako fantastický eňo-ňuňo steak! (Dopredu Vás varujem - príprava trvá dosť dlho!)

Potrebujeme:
1 kus tvrdšieho hovädieho ako napr. stehno alebo plece
olivový olej
soľ a korenie

Osolíme hovädzie dvomi až štyrmi lyžičkami soli (závisí od veľkosti mäsa), zabalíme do priesvitnej fólie a necháme v chladničke 18 až 24 hodín.
Zapneme trúbu na 107°C. (Áno, čítate správne LEN 107!)
Vyberieme mäso z chladničky, omastíme ho olivovým olejom (vraj to zlepšuje prenos tepla) a riadne okoreníme.
Na panvici rozpálime olej a rýchlo opečieme mäso z každej strany.
Mäso preložime na pekáč a pečieme 1 hodinu až 1 hodinu 45 minút (zase to závisí od veľkosti mäsa, ja som ho piekla len hodinu). Vypneme trúbu a necháme v nej mäso ešte ďalších 30 až 50 minút (zase to závisí od veľkosti mäsa).
Nakoniec ho vyberieme z trúby a necháme ešte 15 minút vonku na vzduchu (ja som Vás varovala, že to trvá večnosť:) ale podľa múdrych vedcov je toto najlepší spôsob prípravy a kto by neveril ľuďom v bielych plášťoch). Konečne, podávame! Mňam, mňam, mňam!


Thursday, February 6, 2014

At Loose End

Today after I finished my book I found myself at a loose end. The book was The Glass Room by Simon Mawer and its story is loosely based on the history of Villa Tugendhat in Brno, Czech Republic. The book is originally in English but I got (it was a gift) a Czech translation. It was a weird thing, I couldn't image the book in English, it sounded so Czech-ish.




The place looks amazing and it's really close to my dream home - lots of light and space with terrific view. I really hope that I'll have a chance to visit - let's face it - Brno is only two hours away. But the story - I don't know if I liked it. It left me crying at the end and totally emotionally drained. I am still not sure if I like these kinds of books or not.
Then I was standing before my bookcase, seeing all these books I've bought and still haven't read. I was contemplating reading Murakami or one of my classics (Milton or Dickens) I got for Christmas, I laughed again when I saw Kafka's Metamorphosis (the book was HILARIOUS!!! I am pretty sure that that wasn't author's intention and I might be a huge dolt admitting it was so ridiculous but give it a try - maybe, you'll find it funny, too), I read some Keats' poems (I like them because they're so straightforward) and at the end I settled on Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses. But then I decided that my finding out why this book caused fatwa being called upon the author can wait a little bit and I did something remarkable! - I sat behind the piano!
After few songs and leafing through my music I happily exclaimed and started to play this. I don't know where and when and why but we (me and my man) have a favourite song - and it's I'll Make a Man Out of You from Disney's Mulan. I know that now you'll think us even weirder (is it even possible? :D) but this song makes us generally happy! Every single time one of us starts to sing it, the other one joins in and we'll end in big finish - ...OUT OF YOUUUUU!!! I already feel sorry for our future children!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Tiramisu


We have this weird tradition in our family that I inherited with the apartment - the calendars (one or two) hanging on the inside of the door to the toilet. When I think about it I don't know even know why my parents started doing this. Let's face, we ALL read there... But I mean, there isn't really a lot to read on a calendar. Of course, when it comes to Slovak calendars there are all the names attached to every day - Slovakia being a catholic region and observing name-days. (I loooove name-days, well, but sincerely, who wouldn't love them - you get presents three times a year - on Christmas, birthday AND name-day. And my name-day is such a cool date - twelve days before Christmas - when I was a kid I used to get money from my grandmas which I later used to buy Christmas gifts for my family and friends. Cool-cool-cool. But I still don't get why 24th of December is name-day for Adam and Eve.... Obviously, I am too stupid to get the Christian logic. But maybe it would be cruel for baby Jesus to have same birthday AND name-day.Hm... But I know people who were "punished" by parents this way. But anyway, I digress!) Today with facebook being such a helpful tool for remembering birthdays, I still need something to remember name-days!  So I observe this tradition of calendars. My dad is totally hooked on hunting or fishing calendars (you know picture of a fish or an animal, a little bit of text, moon phases and stuff like that). As was seen this Christmas when I got a huge hug and a kiss and an i-love-you after I got him his fishing calendar. But thanks to this I can also claim a knowledge of latin names of animals - bubo bubo! or canis lupus! (Now I am just showing off). 
Ha! but I am finally getting to my point! Last year I got a free calendar from Billa (local supermarket imported from Austria) and whole year we looked on some product placements of processed foods and one Italian recipe a month. My man HATED the calendar but since I got it for free..... yep, I am that kind of person! I never actually got around to cooking any of the recipes BUT the last one. And that was THE tiramisu. 
I cooked it on 26th of December for the first time. I went all the way - bought real Italian almond liqueur, real Italian ladyfingers, real mascarpone - and later TOLD ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT IT (it was karaoke night and there might have been some alcohol included - but only might!) and promised them a taste. The next day I had to keep my promise of sharing it and with all the ado about nothing I forgot to take the pictures! My man was actually pretty pissed about it (not me taking no pictures but me sharing his tiramisu), because he had only four pieces! The horror! But I promised him I'll make it again some another time. And since we had guests today I quickly whipped one up yesterday.
Recipe: 
6 egg yolks
3 tbsp sugar
450g mascarpone
1 1/2 cup espresso
2 tbsp almond liqueur
24 ladyfingers
cacao powder 
Beat the yolks with sugar for five minutes. Add mascarpone and continue mixing. Add 1 tbsp espresso. Create one layer of ladyfingers, mix espresso with almond liqueur and pour one half of it on the ladyfingers. Spread half of the mascarpone mix on the ladyfingers, create another layer of ladyfingers, pour the second half of espresso on them and then spread the second half of the mascarpone mix. Cover the last layer with unsweetened cocoa powder.
Cover with foil and let it cool in the fridge for 2-8 hours. 
 






One of my friends told me (after making sure his girlfriend wasn't listening) that it was the best tiramisu he'd ever eaten and another one told me he liked it even though he never liked any tiramisu he'd ever tasted. 

And I think now I am finally forgiven for the calendar AND sharing his tiramisu!


Friday, January 10, 2014

Macadamia Nut And Herb-crusted Pork Chops / Orechovo-bylinkové bravčové kotlety

Phew, so much cooking in the last few days. This time let's make something really easy and quick (since I am essentially a lazy person).


My go-to pork meal is this recipe:
6 pork chops
salt, pepper
1/3 cup macadamia (or almond) nuts (or 1/3 cup of already ground nuts if you're as lazy as I was when I cooked this the last time)
1 garlic clove (or 1tsp garlic powder - the lazy way )
1 tsp fresh parsley
1/2 tsp salt
olive oil
ghee
Season pork chops and leave out of the fridge to come to room temperature. Preheat oven to 180°C. Combine nuts, garlic, parsley, salt and olive oil in a food processor and grind into thick paste (if you're doing the lazy way - just mix the dry stuff in the bowl and add olive oil to turn it into paste). Sear the pork chops for one minute on each side. Place the chops into baking tray, cover one side with nut paste and bake for 12-15 minutes, until the crust is golden.





Serve with veggies of your choice (in my case - broccoli from freezer and fresh spinach - there is nothing more easier for a lazy person).

SK: Posledné dni očividne nič iné nerobím len varím. Takže tenkorát si dáme niečo jednoduché a rýchle (keďže ja som vo svojej podstate veľmi lenivý človek). Môj obľúbený recept s bravčovým mäsom je tento:
6 bravčových kotliet
soľ, korenie
1/3 šálky makadamských orechov (alebo mandlí) (alebo 1/3 šálky mletých orechov ak ste podobne leniví ako ja)
1 strúčik cesnaku (alebo 1 lyžička cesnakového granulátu - ak je to "na lenivý spôsob")
1 lyžička petžlenovej vňati
1/2 lyžičky soli
olivový olej
ghee
Okoreníme a osolíme si bravčové kotlety a necháme ich vonku nech sa trošku "oteplia" na izbovú teplotu. Rozohrejeme rúru na 180°C. Do mixéra dáme orechy, cesnak, petržlen, soľ a olivový olej a vymixujeme na hrubú pastu (ak robíme "na lenivý spôsob"  tak si len pomiešame suché ingrediencie v miske a pridame olivový olej, aby nám vznikla pasta). Opečieme asi minútu z oboch strán mäso na panvici. Presunieme ho na pekáč, jednu stranu mäska potrieme orechovou pastou a zapečieme asi 12-15 minút, kým nebude krusta dozlata.
Podávame so zeleninou vlastného výberu (v mojom prípade s brokolicou z mrazáku a čerstvým špenátom - nič jednoduchšie pre lenivú osôbku ako som ja).

Reading: Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451

Coconut Shrimp & Mango-Avocado Salsa / Kokosové krevetky & Mangovo-avokádová salsa

There comes a day when I have a perfectly good piece of meat ready to be cooked in the fridge but the idea leaves me cold. Today I had a piece of organic pork waiting for me but I just wanted something sweet. But since my complexion can take no carb-ful days anymore I decided to cheat my stomach and cook something sweet BUT paleo. So, here we go - Coconut Shrimp and Mango-Avocado Salsa.


Coconut shrimp:
500g of jumbo shrimp
1/3cup coconut flakes
1/4tsp salt
1/4tsp cayenne pepper
1/4tsp garlic powder
1 large egg, beaten
2-4tbs coconut oil
(Ha! so much measuring when in real life I don't bother with it at all!)
It's easy. Mix the coconut with the spices in one bowl. Beat the egg in the second one. Heat the coconut oil in the pan and take a shrimp by the tail, dip into egg bowl, dip into coconut mix bowl and put into pan. Repeat-again and again.

Mango-Avocado Salsa:
1 mango
1 avocado
1/2 red onion
olive oil
lime (or lemon) juice
salt, pepper
Cut the solids, pour the liquids and mix.



Voila! Sweet dinner paleo style!


SK: Niekedy mám také dni, že napriek tomu, že mám v chladničke ready mäso na varenie, ma táto predstava vôbec nenadchýňa. Dnes ma čakalo bio bravčové v chladničke a ja som mala chuť len a len na niečo sladké! Ale keďže chúďa moja pleť už nezvláda ďalšie cukrové dni, rozhodla som sa oklamať svoj žalúdok a navariť niečo síce sladké ALE paleo. Takže tu to máme - kokosové krevetky a mangovo-avokádová salsa.
Kokosové krevety:
500g veľkých kreviet
1/3 šálky kokosu
1/4 lyžičky soli
1/4 lyžičky kajenskej papriky
1/4 lyžičky cesnakového granulátu
1 veľké vajce, rozšľahané vidličkou
2-4 lyžičky kokosového oleja
(Machrujem s váhami, v skutočnosti to robím celé odo oka!)
Je to jednoduché. Pomiešame kokos a korenia v jednej miske. Rozšľaháme vajíčko v druhej miske. Rozpálime kokosový olej na panvici, zoberieme krevetku za chvostík, omočíme v miske s vajíčkom, omočíme v miske s kokosom a dáme na panvičku. Zopakujeme - znovu a znovu.

Mango-avokádová salsa
1 mango
1 avokádo
1/2 červenej cibule
olivový olej
limetkový (alebo citrónový) olej
soľ, korenie
Pokrájame veci v pevnom skupenstve, nalejeme veci v tekutom skupenstve a premiešame.

Voila! Sladká paleo večera je na svete!