Nonsteak Beef á la Steak / Ako pripraviť hovädzie nevhodné na steaky ako steak

It's Sunday 5pm and I've just finished my work - physically (my back hurts like craaazy) and emotionally drained. The last time I was describing my work it went something like this - imagine a huge slave ship, in the lower deck there are rows of seats and on these seats sit slaves in chains that are rowing these huge oars. It`s a slave ship so conditions are naturally atrocious - they get little water and little food in the scorching heat, they have to work impossible hours and there is an enormous guard who whips them when he feels they're slacking. AND if that's not horrible, there is a perfect storm coming. You get the picture. I've been doing this work for the last eight years and many times I felt like those slaves: working 10 hours a day including Saturday and Sunday every February and March (impossible working hours), having to lower my prices because of crisis and subsequent recession and unable to employ anyone because of it (little water and little food), adjusting to all the new and frequent amendments to laws AND my government`s love to issue fines for every little thing (a guard with the whip). AND now a real perfect storm came - something they call "checking statement". I hate the person who thought this up with a passion. Maybe even more than our neighbour`s dog. And I can`t wait till April when I am going to grow our second business!
Yes, I might be a little bit overly melodramatic for an accountant. But let's face it - I am not the only one:

And now my rant is over and let`s move on to beautiful and amazing things in life. Like for example MEAT. :) Yummy! What I really love about paleo diet besides my gorgeous skin and skinny (skinnier) body is the fact that I can eat meat. And I love meat! I thrive on meat! I could eat meat every day...wait.... I actually do. Hm. What I meant was I could eat Argentinian or Kobe beef steak every day! But that is not going to happen maybe because I don't have super rich parents or maybe because I don't earn big bucks or maybe because I actually don't know how to prepare delicious steak like they do in the restaurants. You choose the reason why.

But fortunately for me I have this amazing man who likes to take online courses like this: Science & Cooking: From Haute Cuisine to Soft Matter Science. Yep, science AND cooking. And I watched this 20 minutes video (I could swear it was one hour that pissed bored ecstatic I was that I was forced to had an opportunity to watch it) on How to prepare a non-steak beef cut like round or chuck in a steak-like version. (I am warning you - it takes lots of time!)

You will need:
1 cut of tougher beef meat e.g. round or chuck
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

Season your beef with two to four teaspoons of salt (it depends on how big your cut is - I used two tsp), cover with foil and leave in the fridge for 18 to 24 hours.

Heat your oven to 107°C. (Yep, you read correctly ONLY 107!)
Take your beef out of the fridge, rub olive oil all over it (obviously it improves the transfer of heat) and rub in the pepper.

Heat oil in the pan till it smokes, sear the meat from all sides till it's nice and brown.

Put into the oven for 1 hour to 1 3/4 hours (it all depends on the size of the meat, I cooked mine for 1 hour only). Then turn off the oven and leave the meat there for 30 to 50 minutes (again, it depends on the size of the meat).

Then take it out of the oven and leave it outside for 15 minutes (I warned you that it takes time :) But obviously, according to science-y people, it yields the best results. And who doesn't believe people in white coats?!) Finally, serve! Yummy, yummy for my tummy!

His version:

Her version:

SK:
Je nedeľa, päť hodín večer a práve som skončila s robotou - fyzicky (chrbát ma bolí ako koňa) a emočne vyšťavená. Naposledy keď som niekomu cudziemu opisovala svoju prácu znelo to asi takto - predstavte si veľkú otrokársku loď, v podpalubí ktorej sú rady sedadiel, na ktorých sedia otroci v okovách, ktorí veslujú obrovské veslá. Keďže je to otrokárska loď podmienky sú horibilné - dostávajú malý prídel vody a jedla v neznesiteľných horúčavách, musia pracovať neuveriteľne dlhé šichty a navyše je tam mohutný strážca, ktorý ich bičuje, zakaždým ak má pocit, že sa flákajú. A ak by to nestačilo prichádza dokonalá búrka. Viete si to predstaviť? Túto prácu robím už posledných osem rokov a častokrát sa cítim ako tí otroci: pracujem desať hodín denne vrátane soboty a nedele každý február a marec (to sú tie dlhé šichty), musím znižovať ceny kvôli kríze a nasledujúcej recesii a nemôžem si dovoliť nikoho zamestnať (malý prídel vody a jedla), naša vláda neustále mení zákony A najviac miluje, keď môže pokutovať za úplne maličkosti (to je ten mohutný strážca s bičom). A TERAZ prišla tá dokonalá búrka - niečo čo si nazvali "kontrolný výkaz". Osobu, čo to vymyslela z duše neznášam. Možno ešte viac ako susedovie psa. A neviem sa dočkať, kedy príde apríl a konečne rozbehnem náš druhý biznis!
Áno, priznám si to, možno som až prespríliš dramatická na účtovníčku, ale nie som jediná! (ako Leo Bloom z The Producers!)

A teraz, keď už som sa ukľudnila, môžeme prejsť na krásne a fantastické veci v tomto živote. Ako napríklad mäsko. :) Mňam. Čo najviac milujem na paleo diéte okrem mojej krásnej pleti a štíhleho (štíhlejšieho) tela je fakt, že môžem jesť mäso! Zbožňujem mäso. Dokázala by som jesť mäso každý deň...počkať...veď ja ho jem. Hm. Čo chcem povedať, že by som dokázala jesť argentínske alebo Kobe steaky každý deň! Ale to sa bohužiaľ nestane možno preto, že nemám super bohatých rodičov alebo možno preto, že nezarábam veľké prachy alebo možno preto, že ja vlastne neviem ako pripraviť chutný steak tak ako ho robia v reštauráciách. Vy si môžete tipnúť dôvod prečo to tak je.

Ale našťastie pre mňa mám úžasného muža, ktorý sa rád vzdeláva a naposledy si urobil takýto online kurz: Veda a Varenie. Áno, čítate dobre, veda A varenie. A ja som si pozrela jedno 20-minutové videjko (prisahala by som, že trvalo hodinu tak nasrdená znudená nadšená som bola, že som musela mala šancu pozrieť si ho) ako pripraviť mäso nesteakovej kvality ako fantastický eňo-ňuňo steak! (Dopredu Vás varujem - príprava trvá dosť dlho!)

Potrebujeme:
1 kus tvrdšieho hovädieho ako napr. stehno alebo plece
olivový olej
soľ a korenie

Osolíme hovädzie dvomi až štyrmi lyžičkami soli (závisí od veľkosti mäsa), zabalíme do priesvitnej fólie a necháme v chladničke 18 až 24 hodín.
Zapneme trúbu na 107°C. (Áno, čítate správne LEN 107!)
Vyberieme mäso z chladničky, omastíme ho olivovým olejom (vraj to zlepšuje prenos tepla) a riadne okoreníme.
Na panvici rozpálime olej a rýchlo opečieme mäso z každej strany.
Mäso preložime na pekáč a pečieme 1 hodinu až 1 hodinu 45 minút (zase to závisí od veľkosti mäsa, ja som ho piekla len hodinu). Vypneme trúbu a necháme v nej mäso ešte ďalších 30 až 50 minút (zase to závisí od veľkosti mäsa).
Nakoniec ho vyberieme z trúby a necháme ešte 15 minút vonku na vzduchu (ja som Vás varovala, že to trvá večnosť:) ale podľa múdrych vedcov je toto najlepší spôsob prípravy a kto by neveril ľuďom v bielych plášťoch). Konečne, podávame! Mňam, mňam, mňam!

Tiramisu

We have this weird tradition in our family that I inherited with the apartment - the calendars (one or two) hanging on the inside of the door to the toilet. When I think about it I don't know even know why my parents started doing this. Let's face, we ALL read there... But I mean, there isn't really a lot to read on a calendar. Of course, when it comes to Slovak calendars there are all the names attached to every day - Slovakia being a catholic region and observing name-days. (I loooove name-days, well, but sincerely, who wouldn't love them - you get presents three times a year - on Christmas, birthday AND name-day. And my name-day is such a cool date - twelve days before Christmas - when I was a kid I used to get money from my grandmas which I later used to buy Christmas gifts for my family and friends. Cool-cool-cool. But I still don't get why 24th of December is name-day for Adam and Eve.... Obviously, I am too stupid to get the Christian logic. But maybe it would be cruel for baby Jesus to have same birthday AND name-day.Hm... But I know people who were "punished" by parents this way. But anyway, I digress!) Today with facebook being such a helpful tool for remembering birthdays, I still need something to remember name-days!  So I observe this tradition of calendars. My dad is totally hooked on hunting or fishing calendars (you know picture of a fish or an animal, a little bit of text, moon phases and stuff like that). As was seen this Christmas when I got a huge hug and a kiss and an i-love-you after I got him his fishing calendar. But thanks to this I can also claim a knowledge of latin names of animals - bubo bubo! or canis lupus! (Now I am just showing off). 

Ha! but I am finally getting to my point! Last year I got a free calendar from Billa (local supermarket imported from Austria) and whole year we looked on some product placements of processed foods and one Italian recipe a month. My man HATED the calendar but since I got it for free..... yep, I am that kind of person! I never actually got around to cooking any of the recipes BUT the last one. And that was THE tiramisu. 

I cooked it on 26th of December for the first time. I went all the way - bought real Italian almond liqueur, real Italian ladyfingers, real mascarpone - and later TOLD ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT IT (it was karaoke night and there might have been some alcohol included - but only might!) and promised them a taste. The next day I had to keep my promise of sharing it and with all the ado about nothing I forgot to take the pictures! My man was actually pretty pissed about it (not me taking no pictures but me sharing his tiramisu), because he had only four pieces! The horror! But I promised him I'll make it again some another time. And since we had guests today I quickly whipped one up yesterday.

Recipe: 

6 egg yolks

3 tbsp sugar

450g mascarpone

1 1/2 cup espresso

2 tbsp almond liqueur

24 ladyfingers

cacao powder 

Beat the yolks with sugar for five minutes. Add mascarpone and continue mixing. Add 1 tbsp espresso. Create one layer of ladyfingers, mix espresso with almond liqueur and pour one half of it on the ladyfingers. Spread half of the mascarpone mix on the ladyfingers, create another layer of ladyfingers, pour the second half of espresso on them and then spread the second half of the mascarpone mix. Cover the last layer with unsweetened cocoa powder.

Cover with foil and let it cool in the fridge for 2-8 hours. 

 

One of my friends told me (after making sure his girlfriend wasn't listening) that it was the best tiramisu he'd ever eaten and another one told me he liked it even though he never liked any tiramisu he'd ever tasted. 

And I think now I am finally forgiven for the calendar AND sharing his tiramisu!

Macadamia Nut And Herb-crusted Pork Chops / Orechovo-bylinkové bravčové kotlety

Phew, so much cooking in the last few days. This time let's make something really easy and quick (since I am essentially a lazy person).

My go-to pork meal is this recipe:
6 pork chops
salt, pepper
1/3 cup macadamia (or almond) nuts (or 1/3 cup of already ground nuts if you're as lazy as I was when I cooked this the last time)
1 garlic clove (or 1tsp garlic powder - the lazy way )
1 tsp fresh parsley
1/2 tsp salt
olive oil
ghee
Season pork chops and leave out of the fridge to come to room temperature. Preheat oven to 180°C. Combine nuts, garlic, parsley, salt and olive oil in a food processor and grind into thick paste (if you're doing the lazy way - just mix the dry stuff in the bowl and add olive oil to turn it into paste). Sear the pork chops for one minute on each side. Place the chops into baking tray, cover one side with nut paste and bake for 12-15 minutes, until the crust is golden.

Serve with veggies of your choice (in my case - broccoli from freezer and fresh spinach - there is nothing more easier for a lazy person).

SK: Posledné dni očividne nič iné nerobím len varím. Takže tenkorát si dáme niečo jednoduché a rýchle (keďže ja som vo svojej podstate veľmi lenivý človek). Môj obľúbený recept s bravčovým mäsom je tento:
6 bravčových kotliet
soľ, korenie
1/3 šálky makadamských orechov (alebo mandlí) (alebo 1/3 šálky mletých orechov ak ste podobne leniví ako ja)
1 strúčik cesnaku (alebo 1 lyžička cesnakového granulátu - ak je to "na lenivý spôsob")
1 lyžička petžlenovej vňati
1/2 lyžičky soli
olivový olej
ghee
Okoreníme a osolíme si bravčové kotlety a necháme ich vonku nech sa trošku "oteplia" na izbovú teplotu. Rozohrejeme rúru na 180°C. Do mixéra dáme orechy, cesnak, petržlen, soľ a olivový olej a vymixujeme na hrubú pastu (ak robíme "na lenivý spôsob"  tak si len pomiešame suché ingrediencie v miske a pridame olivový olej, aby nám vznikla pasta). Opečieme asi minútu z oboch strán mäso na panvici. Presunieme ho na pekáč, jednu stranu mäska potrieme orechovou pastou a zapečieme asi 12-15 minút, kým nebude krusta dozlata.
Podávame so zeleninou vlastného výberu (v mojom prípade s brokolicou z mrazáku a čerstvým špenátom - nič jednoduchšie pre lenivú osôbku ako som ja).

Reading: Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451

Coconut Shrimp & Mango-Avocado Salsa / Kokosové krevetky & Mangovo-avokádová salsa

There comes a day when I have a perfectly good piece of meat ready to be cooked in the fridge but the idea leaves me cold. Today I had a piece of organic pork waiting for me but I just wanted something sweet. But since my complexion can take no carb-ful days anymore I decided to cheat my stomach and cook something sweet BUT paleo. So, here we go - Coconut Shrimp and Mango-Avocado Salsa.

Coconut shrimp:
500g of jumbo shrimp
1/3cup coconut flakes
1/4tsp salt
1/4tsp cayenne pepper
1/4tsp garlic powder
1 large egg, beaten
2-4tbs coconut oil
(Ha! so much measuring when in real life I don't bother with it at all!)
It's easy. Mix the coconut with the spices in one bowl. Beat the egg in the second one. Heat the coconut oil in the pan and take a shrimp by the tail, dip into egg bowl, dip into coconut mix bowl and put into pan. Repeat-again and again.

Mango-Avocado Salsa:
1 mango
1 avocado
1/2 red onion
olive oil
lime (or lemon) juice
salt, pepper
Cut the solids, pour the liquids and mix.

Voila! Sweet dinner paleo style!


SK: Niekedy mám také dni, že napriek tomu, že mám v chladničke ready mäso na varenie, ma táto predstava vôbec nenadchýňa. Dnes ma čakalo bio bravčové v chladničke a ja som mala chuť len a len na niečo sladké! Ale keďže chúďa moja pleť už nezvláda ďalšie cukrové dni, rozhodla som sa oklamať svoj žalúdok a navariť niečo síce sladké ALE paleo. Takže tu to máme - kokosové krevetky a mangovo-avokádová salsa.
Kokosové krevety:
500g veľkých kreviet
1/3 šálky kokosu
1/4 lyžičky soli
1/4 lyžičky kajenskej papriky
1/4 lyžičky cesnakového granulátu
1 veľké vajce, rozšľahané vidličkou
2-4 lyžičky kokosového oleja
(Machrujem s váhami, v skutočnosti to robím celé odo oka!)
Je to jednoduché. Pomiešame kokos a korenia v jednej miske. Rozšľaháme vajíčko v druhej miske. Rozpálime kokosový olej na panvici, zoberieme krevetku za chvostík, omočíme v miske s vajíčkom, omočíme v miske s kokosom a dáme na panvičku. Zopakujeme - znovu a znovu.

Mango-avokádová salsa
1 mango
1 avokádo
1/2 červenej cibule
olivový olej
limetkový (alebo citrónový) olej
soľ, korenie
Pokrájame veci v pevnom skupenstve, nalejeme veci v tekutom skupenstve a premiešame.

Voila! Sladká paleo večera je na svete!

Brunch (that lasted nine hours) / Brunch (ktorý nakoniec trval deväť hodín)

Few days ago I decided to host a brunch for a bunch of people - the best people I know - my choir. What with the holidays and no work 11 people managed to find some free time on Saturday. The plan was simple - I will cook the pancakes and prepare mimosa, my guests were to bring Nutellas, jams etc. My man was slightly horrified at the number of people coming - I tried to mollify him with Slovak saying: "Dobrých ľudí sa všade veľa zmestí" (Good people will always be able to fit anywhere). To which he replied: "Well, obviously it wasn't a physicist who said that!" But at the end it all worked out. I slaved behind the stove for three hours on Friday to prepare 34 pancakes and another two hours the next day to make another 20.
My basic recipe for pancakes (crepes):
1/2 liter of milk
3 eggs
250g of flour
50g of sugar
pinch of salt
The brunch was a HUGE success - the last of the people left at 8:15 pm! We didn't manage to eat all the pancakes, but managed to drink five bottles of bubbly - that's six litres of mimosa! and also some wine and some black currant liqueur. We played Activity (I am sure that the neighbours where thrilled when we all yelled pedophile as an answer to one question) and Bang (I was a part of the winning team both times). One of the best days ever.

SK: Pár dní dozadu som sa rozhodla spraviť brunch pre skupinku fantastických ľudí - môj zbor. Ako boli Vianočné prázdniny a dovolenky, až 11 ľudí si našlo čas v sobotu ráno. Plán bol jednoduchý - ja navarím palacinky a pripravím mimózku a moji hostia si prinesú Nutellu, džemy atď. Môj muž bol zhrozený, keď sa dozvedel koľko ľudí príde - posnažila som ho ukľudníť slovami: "Dobrých ľudí sa všade veľa zmestí" na čo mi on odpovedal: "Ale to nemohol byť fyzik, čo toto povedal!" Ale nakoniec všetko dobre dopadlo. V piatok večer som tri hodiny otročila za sporákom, aby som spravila 34 palaciniek, ďalších 20 som urobila v sobotu ráno.
Môj základný recept na palacinky:
1/2 litra mlieka
3 vajcia
250g múky
50g cukru
štipka soli
Brunch mal obrovský úspech - poslední hostia odišli o 8:15 večer! Nepodarilo sa nám zjesť všetky palacinky, ale vypilo sa päť fliaš sektu - čo je šesť litrov mimózy! plus fľaša vínka a nejaký likér z čiernej ríbezle. Hrali sme Activity (susedia museli byť nadšení, keď sme všetci zahučali pedofil ako odpoveď na jednu otázku) a Bang (dvakrát vyhral náš tím). Bol to jeden z najlepších dní!

Cowboy's Onion Soup / Kovbojská cibulačka

With all the mad dashing during Holidays and eating crap all the time, there always comes a day when I feel like screaming STOP! Now I want something healthy, hearty and simple. And sometimes I manage to find inspiration in strange places - like when I started reading FOOD magazine at our friend's house. Fast-forward next day - after I borrowed the magazine and went shopping (which was incredibly hard for me to do - I was trying to find the resolve for several hours, because let's face it - I am still lazy during Holidays) and put on my new apron with little Tour-Eiffels (it's gorgeous, but if only everyone didn't suggest that I should be naked underneath it - I mean everyone, even my parents! - I mean - gross - is really everyone insane?) I started to cook again.
Recipe:
300g bacon, cut into cubes (it starts well - don't you think? ;)
3 big onions, cut into thin circles
3 big potatoes, unpeeled and washed, cut into cubes
3 bouillon cubes
200 ml of cream
3 cloves of garlic, crushed with garlic press
marjoram
salt, pepper, if you like

In a large pot fry (on low heat) the bacon until it's golden, then add the onion and cook until it softens. Add the potatoes and cook for few minutes. When the potatoes start to stick to the bottom of the pot, add circa 1 liter of hot water with the bouillon cubes. Cook on low heat for 15 minutes. Add the cream, garlic and marjoram. Add salt and pepper as you like it.

Enjoy the real Slovakian soup!


Počas Vianočného zhonu a každodenného pobiehania sem a tam a jedenia všemožných hlúpostí, vždy príde jeden deň, kedy mám chuť zakričať: DOSŤ! A teraz chcem niečo zdravé, výdatné a jednoduché. A väčšinou inšpiráciu nachádzam na zvláštnych miestach - ako napríklad, keď som si začala čítať FOOD magazín u kamaráta doma. Takže na ďalší deň, keď už som mala požičaný časopis a bola som nakúpiť (čo ma stálo maximálne úsilie a odhodlávala som sa niekoľko hodín, predsa len sú Sviatky a nechce sa mi) a obliekla som si novú zásteru s maličkými Eifellovkami (je fantastická, až na to, že mi každý hovorí, že či by som ju nemala nosiť na Adama - a pod všetkými myslím aj mojich rodičov! - akože fuj - to sú všetci nenormálni?) som sa pustila do varenia:
Recept:
300g slaniny nakrájanej na kocky (začína to dobre, nie? ;)
3 veľké cibule, nakrájané na tenké kolečká
3 veľké zemiaky, neolúpané a umyté, nakrájané na kocky
3 kocky bujónu
200 ml smotany
3 strúčiky cesnaku, pretlačeného
majoránka
soľ, korenie, ak chcete

Vo veľkom hrnci opražíme (na malom ohni) do zlata slaninku, pridáme cibuľu a varíme až kým nezmäkne. Potom pridáme zemiaky a varíme niekoľko minút. Keď sa zemiaky začnú mierne prichytávať ku dnu hrnca, zalejeme asi litrom horúcej vody s rozpustenými bujónmi. Varíme 15 minút. Nakoniec pridáme smotanu, majoránku a cesnak. Dochutíme soľou a korením, ak chceme.

Shake it like you mean it!

I have a new toy. Looks like this. And yes, unfortunately, I am already at that stage of my life when my toys are kitchen appliances. Sad sigh.

I have loads of recipes for shakes, smoothies and frappes. They range from superhealthy:

after workout:

to the most decadent drinks like: (shout-out to amazing Irey from Eat drink paleo and her recipes!)
Raspberry Mojito Frappe:

1 1/2 cup of frozen raspberries, 6-7 mint leaves, 1 tsp coconut or maple syrup, 1/2 cup orange juice.

Apple Cinnamon Pie:

1 cup Granny Smith apples, 1 tbsp honey, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp vanilla essence, 1/4 cup cashews, 1 cup coconut milk

My First Shake:

1 banana, 200 ml coconut milk, 200 ml milk 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 espresso coffee, 1 tsp salted caramel

Any other ideas for amazing drinks to make in blender out there?

Chocolate - maroon cake (a.k.a. hidden chocolate souffle)

When somebody asks me what kind of cake I want for my birthday? My answer is definitely going to be - chocolate cake with chocolate filling and with chocolate frosting. When we changed our diet into paleo diet, I loved the fact that the chocolate stayed. Of course it was minus sugar, but in my book chocolate is CHOCOLATE,  it doesn't matter what kind. We are very good (or at least we pretend to be, HA HA) with our minus sugar diet. But after our botched Valentines day, I decided to be a little bit naughty and skip our paleo diet for one day and treat ourselves to this amazing yummy miracle. Why miracle? Because this cake comes incredibly close to a chocolate souffle without all the mess of a chocolate souffle. (I am still trying to get over the fact that my man loves chocolate souffle more than me. His own words. If he should pick between me and chocolate souffle.... Yeah, you guessed right. But sometimes I ain't even mad. I mean - it's chocolate. And I'm lucky nobody asked ME what would I pick...)
Originally, it is recipe from Gordon Ramsay's cookbook but obviously it is not his recipe, but someone's named Hugh. Well, thank you Gordon, thank you Hugh, this is MY version of Chocolate-maroon cake.
Lets start.
1. Go for a run. Best choice would be interval running for about 5 km. To alleviate the guilt, of course.
2. Assemble the ingredients:

250 g of chocolate
250 g of butter
250 g of maroon (paste)
125 ml whole milk
125 ml cream
4 big eggs, separated into yolk and white
125 g white sugar
3. Preheat your oven to 170oC. Grease with butter and line cake pan with baking paper.
4. Prepare your hot water bath ,i.e. put a little bit of water into a pot and find a bigger nonmelting bowl to put it on the pot. Break chocolate into pieces. Wash your hands ruefully, because you realize that to start licking your hands at this stage of cooking would be just ridiculous. Add butter. Think to yourself - wow, that's a looot of butter. Slowly melt.

Chocolaaaaate

5. Put milk, cream and maroons  into another pot and melt. Thank your neighbors, the Hungarians, for providing this ready-made frozen maroon paste. Start thinking why there is obviously no Slovak producer of frozen maroons and if you should start a new business with producing frozen maroon paste.... Nah...Dismiss.
6. Separate your two home-produced eggs. In your mind, thank your parents for the eggs. Start wondering if their tomcat is doing better and if you should call them to find out. Wake up from your daydreaming and go back to cooking. Decide to exchange the remaining two store-bought eggs for the last two home-produced eggs, when you see how pathetic they look. Decide to have the store-bought ones for breakfast tomorrow rather than to screw up your chocolate heaven cake.
7. Weight the sugar. Realize that that is a looot of sugar. Remember the BBC Addicted to Pleasure series, part about Sugar. Recommend it to everyone. Add yolks and whip it together.

Yellow goodness!

8. Add maroon mixture. Go and find a bigger bowl. Wonder how is it possible that you finished university and have a successful business when you can't even predict the size of a bowl you'll need.
9. Add chocolate mixture (in your bigger bowl).
10. Whip your whites. Slowly and carefully mix into the batter. Ta da!

Sloooowly mixing together

11. Pour into the cake pan, put into oven and wait. Officially, it should take 30 minutes. 30 minutes, my ass! The last time, I cooked it for 90 minutes! So just be patient and watch it with your toothpick ready. This time it took only one hour. (Happy dance.)

Like Kalahari desert - if it had a toothpicky hole

12. Go and take that shower. HA HA. Just kidding.You already took shower ages ago. You wouldn't cook all smelly and sweaty.
13. Enjoy the chocolaty smell in the whole house. And taste. Add whipped cream. Or mascarpone. Or whatever floats your boat.

Chocolate heaven

Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!